Brianna jacobs

Middle Ground (Krista)

 

     When I was younger I was average height, I could look most of my peers in the eye. But when they all started to get taller, I stayed the same. I used to hate my height, I’m short, exactly five feet tall. I have to look up to talk to most people. Now I like my height, I can wear high heels without being too tall, but most days I wear flats. I’ve realized that being smaller than people doesn’t make me inferior to them.

     I’m not thin, but I’m not heavy. While I’m on the smaller side, I’m still curvy. My weight has fluctuated a little bit over the past years. I gained weight when I first came to college, and felt pressure to lose it when friends and family at home noticed. I then lost more weight than I had gained, and  found myself actually missing the curves I had when I was heavier. Since then I’ve learned to appreciate my body for it’s curves, and I’ve realized the only person I should gain or lose weight for is myself.

     I’m often called pear-shaped - I have thicker thighs and hips, small breasts and narrow shoulders. I used to hate my thighs; I was envious of girls whose thighs didn’t touch when they walked. When I lost weight, my shape didn’t change very much, and my thighs were still big. Now I know they’re strong, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. I appreciate my small breasts now, although when I was younger I had similar feelings towards them as I did toward my height. I can comfortable wear low-cut clothing and they don’t call much attention. I have a freckle right between my breasts that’s shaped like a heart and it’s one of the things I’ve always liked about myself.

     My ribs and hip bones stick out the tiniest bit, and my stomach isn’t flat. I’ve always wished my stomach was flatter, but now I don’t mind it. I wouldn’t say it’s big, but it has never been ideal. I like my back, it’s strong and it helps me stand up taller. My butt is somewhat small, but round. I have back dimples right above my butt, I used to think it was because I was fat, but now I know they’re cute and it makes me unique.

I have small hands, and I wouldn’t consider them pretty. They’re often dry, stained, and cracked from working with them all the time. I don’t mind it though, for me, my hands are a reminder of how hard I work. I have strong nails, and when I actually take the time to paint them I think they look nice. I have always hated my feet. I used to dance traditional ballet in high school. Over the years my feet became deformed and calloused from being forced into pointe shoes every day. I’ve had many broken toes, torn tendons and ligaments, and have a lot of scars on my feet. Sometimes I’m uncomfortable wearing sandals, but my feet get me where I need to go, and they’re tougher from all my injuries.

     I have very thick hair, it’s curly and heavy. I like to keep it long because the curls stretch out into nice waves, but I have to get it thinned and layered because it’s so heavy I would get headaches otherwise. I think it’s a nice color, I’ve never dyed it and I like the way it gets lighter in the sun. I have a gray spot, where there’s a dead nerve ending. I don’t mind it, it’s another thing that I think makes me unique.

I like my eyebrows, although they’re naturally very thick and I spend a lot of time grooming them. I have thick eyelashes too. My eyes are greenish. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, although I like to accent my eyes. I’ve been told I have a big nose, but I think it fits my face, and if it were any smaller it would look out of place. I have full lips, I used to think they were too big, but now I like them. They’re soft, and like my nose, I think they fit my face. My teeth are pretty straight on their own, I never had braces and I think I was lucky for that. When i was younger I fell and chipped on of my teeth, so now they’re slightly uneven, where one is pointy, the opposite is flat. I have very tiny ears, something that I used to be self-conscious about. I’ve learned to appreciate that they do their job, and i like that they’re dainty and not too big.

     The skin on my face has a lot of scars from when i was younger and had bad acne. I usually wear makeup to cover it, but i’ve been comfortable without makeup. For years i would not go out of the house without makeup to cover my skin. My skin tone is olive, and I tan really well in the summer. I rarely get sunburn. In the winter I think my skin looks greenish, and I used to go tanning all winter so I wouldn’t. Now I’d rather be healthy, and I like my complexion the way it is.

- Krista